Inside the Purple Bus - Not the Purple Pill
Have you seen the big purple SEIU bus? It's hard to miss. Anyway, your intrepid agents from the GRAB managed to get inside and see what it's all about.
The SEIU 1199 is one of New York's most powerful unions. If you're a state legislator of some sort, they probably have your testicles in a lock box. You pretty much can't get elected in New York without them.
That aside, we wanted to know what was going on in there. We were able to get two undercover agents on the bus: one during a members-only event, and one during an invitation only meeting for politicians. What was found will astound you. We apologise for the quality of some of the pictures, but we think you'll get the idea.
We now quote from the agents report:
"I was surpised by the interior. Many of my 'brothers and sisters' were excited and sharing rumors about what the bus looked like inside. I figured it'd be a boring interior, with some makeshift desks and cheesy posters plastered everywhere. I'll let the photo speak for itself.
"We were brought in and after a few moments of staring at everything, the real deal began. A union representative started a DVD while others passed around some free beverages. I noticed several empty bottles of JD and JB laying around. While the others enjoyed the open bar, I studied the video closely.
"The video started innocuously enough, but after a few minutes, the tone seemed to get more serious, and due to the generous amounts of refreshment available, helped drive home the union's key points to its members: pay more dues, and there is endless amounts of money that the government can pay them.
"Let me describe a scene from the mid-point of the movie: a nurse returns to her 4500-square foot home, from work, in her Lexus SUV. She stops by the mailbox and retrieves her mail. While thumbing through it, she screams. The camera pans in on a piece of junk mail that states, in large letters, 'NY TO BECOME RIGHT TO WORK!' She rushes in and talkes to her husband. He mentions that his CSEA local president explained to them what that would mean. As the video continues the husband explains that right-to-work legislation would mean management would fire all the union employees and hire cheap non-union workers from India, euthanize all the elderly on medicaid and medicare only, and replace childhood imuunizations with placebos.
"The nurse asks her husband what they should do. He looks right at the camera and very seriously states that every union member should make extra contributions to the 'education' fund. (The fund is used to help educate legislators about the evils of not bending to the union's will.) Without the extra donations, the union will be unable to prevent the disintegration of New York State and civilization in general. He also encourages them to write to their state legislators to oppose the legislation.
"In the next scenes we are shown the union members writing letters and happily engaging in educational pickets. By the end, the politician who had sponsored the legislation is recalled and executed for treason. The movie ends with the nurse from earlier kissing her husband and saying that she is so happy to be a part of SEIU and would be willing to give more of her newly increased salary in order to keep the union strong.
"At the end, most of the viewers were either crying or shouting to find out who is pushing right to work legislation. The union representatives calmed everyone and handed out little cards that members could use to have more of their salary go to the union in order to prevent 'such a dire future for us'.
"Many of those present did so. I took the opportunity to fill out Byron Brown's information and opted for him to donate an additional $20,000 per year. It'll be fun to see what comes of that."